#feel slighted and angry if i give people a chance after theyre the ones that chase

[beansandanger]

anyone find out how to delete your feelings without drugs yet?

[adrikazu]

Now.. Consider Xiao (Our beautiful emo boi), Gorou, and Baal having a crush on a reader who's just shamelessly flirty

SHAMELESSLY FLIRTY READER PT 1

FEATURING— xiao, gorou, and baal

GENRE— fluff

NOTES— i like your funny words magic man !!! (also sorry for being a little inactive stuffs happening, check this post for the small explanation

WARNINGS— flirting, overall fluff !!

XIAO

EMO BOIII

he’s actually shocked

at first when you guys met he was livid about your flirting attempts towards him

and later on it finally struck him

that your flirting was working.

he couldn’t get it out of his head and it made him so angry

baby xiao doesn’t understand his feelings towards you

so, as usual he avoids you

🗿 … i know

your flirts drive him crazy and his hearts racing but he thinks it’s angry adrenaline

you might need to pause your flirting for a second because he’s gonna run away from u

xiaos self conscious but he tries to ignore that

so he gets concerned if youre flirting with other people too

it’s basically the emo person and the flirty cool person duo

after all of this comes down, his responses to your flirts come between:

him blushing and reprimanding you for having no respect for adepti

or his face flushing and his hearts in his throat and he turns away from you, furrowing his eyebrows

HES SHY AND HE HATES THAT HES SHY !!!

i’ll bet everything i own that he kind of wants to flirt back just to spite you

but he doesn’t have the power to do that

not when he gets flustered everytime anything romantic comes out of your mouth

yeah he’s emo, yeah he’s serious

yeah i think he would collapse smitten in your hands with your flirting hehe

GOROU

another shy boyyy

thing is this time he’s super honest ab your flirting

sometimes he will definitely try to flirt back to tease you

it’s a cute boy just flirting with a happy smile on his face while his tail wags

please pat his head

a rosy blush appears on his cheeks, no matter where it is

he’s more flustered when you flirt in public tho

he has a reputation as a leader and stuff, a lot of people view him as a really nice and confident and honest person

hes lowkey scared to know what they think when he suddenly succumbs to your words

Gorou will definitely tell you when you should not flirt, super honest about it

BUUUT he does love it i swear he does

i think something he might like too is when you flirt and then touch his ears

it wraps the cute moment and he ADORES it and HES VOCAL AB IT

i can definitely see the day when he gains the confidence and whispers a flirt to you in public in hopes that it’ll fluster you

if it does, his pride 📈📈📈

he’s very proud of himself and grins at you

if it doesn’t, his pride is inflated but he’ll try again harder next time and he’ll tell you that

prepare yourself bc he might ask for advice from someone and his next attempt might be crazy

overall, please flirt with him

he might flirt back if he feels like it <3

BAAL

oh… my lord

i mean oh my baal

she has NO REACTION WIAHJAHS

when you throw a flirt at her, the soldiers around her stare at you in utter awe

theyre like woah…. that persons gonna die

her liking you is like your free card to do any stupid stuff you want while she’s around

as long as it’s not TOO dumb

but baal likes you, so she’ll deadpan and then move on with her day

the most thing you’ll get from her is the furrow of her eyebrows or the occasional times when she scrunches her nose while turned away from you

if not a lot or no people are around, she’s gonna tell you smth like:

“You should really learn your place, and learn some respect”

she says this while there’s a faint smirk on her face

secretly likes when you bother her with this stuff

don’t worry if you ever think you’re bothering

she took in account your shameless flirting when she decided to like you

also… she’s lowkey confused ab her feelings

she’s kind of like: love??? wtf? no

tbh imo you can choose wether or not you want to continue your shenanigans

bc she didn’t kill or punish you from the start so you kind of have a chance

it’s mostly you flirting and her very very VERY occasional slight teasing and “warningly” remarks

her confidence and the superiority and demand in her voice all the while calm, is something to adore

to be honest, flirting like this is both a menace and amazing

one bc she sometimes barely gives a reaction

and two bc the times she responds to you are so attractive

either way keep doing it bc in the end she’s definitely gonna act on it and it might be smth romantic who knows oOoOoOo

[dahyeri]

I don’t know why the sunset seems so scary to me right now

I keep looking out of my window and looking at the sun and feeling angry at it. I think it’s because when the sun sets, I know that that’s just another day gone by and time still moves like nothing ever happened... it moves and things become more final

I can’t say i’m surprised about how much this has affected me. I used to be one of those people that when a celebrity died i couldn’t empathise with the people that had followed them closely, were their ‘biggest fans’ and what not. I’d always think “It’s sad..... but how can someone feel that distraught over someone they don’t even know?” 

But Jonghyun meant a lot to me. Not in the way that he would to people who know him, I’m obviously no comparison, but people touch our lives in so many different ways and he really touched mine. My life for the past 5 years has been full of lots of ups and downs, and even in the worst times I was able to look to shinee and jonghyun for solace. I also felt a lot of pride for the work he did, he always put so much effort and love and devotion and dedication and heart into everything he did and music meant so much to him and you could just feel it everytime you listened to his songs, and i would always take that feeling with me and use it to make me feel better.

I guess it breaks my heart to think he thought leaving this way was the only option. And sometimes when i’m crying i feel selfish in that theres real people that knew him and who were in his life that are grieving right now and i’m just a stupid girl sobbing in my room somewhere and he’ll never know who i am. I’m not surprised by the fact that i’m upset over this, I’m more surprised about the....feeling? I never expected something like this to hit me so hard. And it’s difficult when you feel its unjustified, you have such a horrible heartbroken feeling, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you constantly cry and everything makes you angry just by the sight of it existing, but then what use is it? I actually have a take home exam i’m supposed to be doing right now. I’m in the middle of finals but I just can’t function properly but of course he was never a family member, or a friend to me so I have to be expected to just move through it because i have no excuse. But he really felt like a friend. I remember looking through my posts today and finding a photo of him from maybe a couple of years ago, and one of my tags said ‘he looks like he could give me a really nice really warm hug’ and i believe it.  He alwayed inspired he every time he spoke, i would always read quotes from blue night and be shocked by just how eloquent and thoughtful is in everything he says. He gave so much love to the people around hime, even to those he didn’t know well, but i can’t stop thinking about how he couldn’t afford himself the same privilege  tw suicide/death

and everytime i think of him i cant help but think about how lonely he must have been at that moment. Sometimes its just one simple spur of the moment thought that makes people do it and then they’re thankful someone came and saved them in the knick of time and then they live long, good lives and it just makes me sad and angry that this didnt happen to him that he stood there in that moment and whether he was afraid or not he still went through with it and i cant even image how painful it must have been... and even the hours and days and weeks leading up until that moment, was he ever happy? sometimes there are things in life that can be that spark to make you keep going, and i see so many of those things in his life but obviously the pain was too great.  i guess the sunset makes me angry because i know it means he’s just getting colder and there won’t be any warmth in that body anymore and whether you believe in heaven or a second life or anything of that kind i feel like it doesnt matter because of how final it all is. 

And there’s a certain kind of..dissonance to all that i see of him and what he did. I’ve watched funny videos of him to make myself feel better, to see him happy and laughing and making others laugh but then as soon as it ends i am struck with the though of him killing himself and i can’t stop shaking. such a beautiful person shouldn’t ever be related to such horrific acts this never should have happened to him

i find it harder when someone you hear the voice of everyday, see so many times is the one to go, because their presence is so normal and you feel like you’ve taken advantage of it. i feel like i’ve taken advantage of it. I’m not really a mourning person, death hasn’t really touched my life and when my grandma died i didnt cry. i guess i was really young and couldn’t quite understand death at that time, but now with jonghyun the years of my life that i spent knowing him were some of the hardest, and losing him has ben like losing some of the ground underneath that i stand on and i can’t pick myself up I still can’t believe it. I’m the kind of person that actively seeks out information on these things, it seems self destructive but i would rather look at things on my own terms than be caught off guard by a stray facebook post i never wanted to see.  And there’s so many regrets i have and so many thoughts that i can’t stop thinking about at the same time. I keep thinking about how much pain he must have been in at that moment, i think of his sister and how much she has to carry with her now for the rest of her life, i think about the possibility of how if they had just been that bit faster maybe he’d still be here, i keep thinking about shinee and when they must have last saw jonghyun, what did they say? was it something they regretted?, how they’ll make it through the next days, months, years, i think of his mother and everything she must be feeling. I just have so many thoughts and each one is worse than the next but then i think about my role in it all and i cant help it. I think about how i was studying while he killed himself, how i had a slight headache when they found him, how i was probably laughing at a joke somewhere across the city while this was all happening. I wonder why i dismissed going to his concert when i had the chance, “nah, i’ll wait till the full shinee concert” and think did i take him for granted? i loved him, but did i love him enough?  And to say you ‘love’ someone in this context is so strange, because theyre not directly part of youre life and yet you feel so close to them. For a long time i loved how he helped me when i needed it, i loved how funny he was in his dopey silly way, i loved his voice and the emotion that flowed through it, i loved his smile that i thought “i want to see this, up close someday”, i love how incredibly intelligent he was and i always thought i’d found someone i could look up to and strive to be like. I loved the love he gave to others, including myself, but i feel selfish for taking everything he had to give and leaving him empty. I didn’t want to write this in past tense, but i guess i had to. Seeing things like death date on his profile makes everything so surreal. I think “but, this can’t happen to him, it’s jonghyun” or “there must be some mistake”. I look at the words “died” over and over and over again until i cry and cry and then i look away only to look back again and do the same. It still doesn’t feel real, it feels real and yet it doesn’t I want to be positive like other people have, and say that i’m happy for the time that he was in my life. But i can’t help but think of what he was going through at this time. It feels like i had years and years to do something, anything, but i know this what out of my hands which makes me feel worse and helpless. I really am not the kind of person to write things like this at all. Again, i never understood why people did this when celebrities died but now i know. i know too well. My heart aches in ways i never thought it would and even with how much i’ve said it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what i’m feeling.  I also hate being here, its the first time that i’ve truly hated being in seoul. I didnt want to go outside because all i could see is the snow that came down yesterday and it reminded me of him, i don’t want to see people going on with their lives, i don’t want to see the daily routine of things and time passing by. I feel like i can just shut myself in my room and grieve in my own space because thats the only way i know how to cope. But when i look out my window, and i see the road near my house, and i know that if i followed that road, if i just kept following it and all of it twists and different streets then i know i would end up where he is, where they all are, and i just which i wasnt constantly aware of its existence.  Some part of me wants to go there, to just stand outside so theres some kind of finality and closure but i don’t know if that would make it worse. i dont know what will make it better. i dont know what ‘it’ is but whatever it is it hurts.  This is a kind of shock i’ve never experienced, and i’m trying hard to validate my feelings. i’m trying to take care of myself but who knew that would be so difficult too? I guess my main feelings right now are anger and fear. Anger for the pain he was in all these years, anger for what he felt he had to do to himself, anger at everyone and everything, rational or irrational i am just angry. And i fear what comes next. I’m scared of all the things people have to say, i’m scared of the funeral to come, i’m scared of turning the tv on and seeing the news and becoming acutely aware of the reality of it all, i’m scared about what lives will be like after this, i’m scared of my own feelings and how to cope with them.  Obviously things get better with time, but not for everyone. I admit i’m a sensitive person, i often think and cry about the day my dog will die because of how old he is and how much he means to me. So i wonder now that i will be part of the unfortunate category of people that never recover from these things. and you might think “i know you’re hurting right now, and that’s why you feel this way. but give it time and you’ll look back at yourself and just feel sad that you felt this way”. But i know myself, and i know my feelings. I know how things affect me, and i felt this, and still feel it, so deep inside myself that i don’t think it will go away anytime soon.  I wonder when i will stop crying, or i at least wonder when i will be able to function properly. I’m aware that i could fall back into mild depression, i’m at a dangerous point where this incident is combined with the fact that i have most of my major exams and i can’t fail them but with what im feeling i havent been able to do anything and i just feel like i cant muster enough of my energy to care. How have i preoccupied the entire 10 or so hours ive been awake with nothing but thought of him? with nothing but tears for him? It’s sadder now knowing when these things happened, when i was on the brink or at my lowest i always turned to him, and to shinee. i guess its ironic now.  This is so dumb and emotional but i just want to scream!!! and cry and weep and sob and i have to get it out otherwise it just hurts too much. The words ‘hurt’ and ‘pain’ i’ve used too much i know but until i have better words to describe what i’m feeling, what has happened, then i’ll be using them

Remember 1of1? it feels kind of cruel now to think they went off a concept based solely on them being a whole unified unit of 5. 

5.

5. 

Is it karma? to think that while jonghyun was suffering, and i was taking his voice and his music and his thoughts and feelings with me and using them for my own gains, that the only thing i was ever thinking was “i hope shinee never disbands. I don’t know what i’d do without them. i’m so so scared of that day, what would i do after that?”. It seems so small now. I was scared of how i would feel when they parted ways but still lives long happy lives, so now my feelings are so beyond that that im struggling to conceptualise them. It’s difficult for people with mental health issues. We invest our feelings in things that we think will help us through hard times, and even as i think about it i dont think there was anything else that i invested my feelings in. it was always shinee. Theres a certain kind of joy you feel when you engage with things that comfort you thats unlike anything else, its like a big sigh or exhale of breathe and a feeling that you can just forget about everything and just be in the moment with them. Jonghyun always made me feel that way, no matter what.

I’m still trying to express the magnitude of what i feel right now but i can’t..... i would probably type for hours but it still won’t cut it. I see pictures of his face and i have mixed reactions because i know hes gone but i feel like he isnt. I see his pictures everyday, so how is today any different? my brain can’t comprehend the difference and i’m scared about what will happen when it does. 

But i won’t feel stupid anymore for how i’m feeling. It’s justified, and its justified for everyone else. I just wish other people could see that so i didnt feel so alone

I don’t want to say goodbye. Even typing that i feel silly, but i just wish he knew how loved he was. I want to pick myself up and imagine him in a better place somehow but its hard. I want to look at the sunset again and not find it so incredibly terrifying, i want to walk outside again and not have to think about how you’ll never have the feeling of the cold on your fingers when the wind gets too strong, or how you’ll never see the snow fall again and settle on the trees, or how you’ll never see that sunset and think “what a good day it was to live”. Why is it so unfair that i have to see these things and know you never will again.

I loved him so much, i love him so much. and i’m so so so sorry for absolutely everything. i’m so incredibly sorry. I hope you feel better now and know so many people love you, i love you i love you You did well.

[isaacathom]

ok so heres the idea for the evil team. most of the time, the villainous teams are making a statement. their appearance means something very specific, its engineered. team flare, for instance, is flashy and attention grabbing, and youre supposed to give them all of your attention, that sort of thing. team plasma are dressed as medieval knights to support an idea of chivalry, of shining armour and good deeds, to make the public believe theyre the good guys.

so you take it a different way. a team that wants to act in the shadows, individual agents acting in harmony with the greater group but ultimately alone. calls late at night deep inside houses. innocent business trips and weekend holidays. its all sneaky.

but you still want to give them a recognisable design. something that does mark them out as a group, unified. so, you keep them mostly ordinary, but with a few key items that might cause a second glance, but without context just seem like some style trend youve just sorta missed. stuff like all of them having long coats and collars that can cover their faces. stuff like them all wearing scarfs even if its summer. stuff like the same coloured shirts. stuff that individually looks generic enough, but when all combined, looks a lil smth smth. stuff like fancy lapel badges and necklaces, a belt with too many filled pouches, a hood that seems to be up more often than not. and then, in an ideal world, there’d be minor variants within that team. like, say they all that a coat and a scarf and a lapel badge. some have long skirts, some have pants, some have a button up pale shirt and some have turtleneck dark shirts. one of them has a set of hair pins that matches the badge, another wears bright coloured leggings, like you just sorta vary it up. the whole point is they seem like ordinary people. you dont think hard about seeing them.

itd get different with the higher ups, and even people like the YT. They’d have a lil more insignia stuff, like itd be more obvious. maybe one higher up is a person with a hoodie that has the teams symbol on it. then the leader, whoever that is, probably has something more formal, like a suit with the logo, a tie with the logo, shit like that. looks like its business for them.

its basically a team of secret agents, almost like team plasma v2 except they arent ninja pirates with a flying fucking ship that shoots ice lasers. 

i just think itd be fun. there could even be an element of it being homemade, like some of the first grunts you encounter clearly handsewed their insignia on their shirt’s left breast and instead of lapel badges theyve got like, those cheap paper badges that you laminate in a circle and draw with texta? like theyre more ramshackle earnest. the higher up you get, the more professional it gets, and harder it becomes to spot them in a crowd because theyve tailored their Look Perfectly.

thatd be a way thered be a brief misdirect with YT. when you first meet them, they look nice and professional, though ofc their aggressive and try to tell you to go home and they probably wont let you leave town (until you beat the gym and cause a progression in the time force). but the grunts you encounter soon after, theyre so clearly members of an evil team but dont share any obvious elements with YT beyond like. dark colours, maybe. or, alternatively, the grunts are super heavy handed in how theyre clearly in the evil team, but YT just looks. like a normal person. a light coloured coat buttoned up but loose at the bottom, jeans, a scarf. just normal. but then as you progress later, and keep seeing YT (but not strictly in direct correlation to the team) and you fight the more sophisticated grunts, you notice the commonalities, the coats, the scarf.

thatd be kinda cool. like for a brief bit you might think YT is a gym leader or maybe even roaming E4 with an ego that manifests in telling people they arent worth shit. then when you notice the commonalities and connect th dots, its like OH its a fucking evil team admin. fuck there they go!

also, itd be fun if theres a slight branch. in the sense that, when you first encounter YT as a confirmed member of the evil team, heading a bit in a city, they dont tell you their name until after you beat them. as they go to leave, they tell you their name, and tell that to the older trainer whose been mentoring you. and you can just choose not to do that. you will encounter the older trainer, shortly after in fact (they dont walk in just after the guy leaves, you meet back up with them after you leave the building). and when the older trainer demands answers to what you were doing, you get the typical pokemon limited responses. you can say ‘i was fighting team [whatsit]’ or ‘i met that guy again’. you say you were just fighting team whatsit, he goes off in a rage about how he told you not to, blah blah. but if you say you fought THAT guy again, he pauses. what about him? then, w/o dialogue choosing, your trainer tells him who YT is, like their name and what they said. and the elite trainer stops. they tell you angrily you shouldnt have gone after team whatsit, but they sigh alot. its basically the same as the other branch, but with a lot of extra pauses and that additional YT mention at the start.

then, when you get to the scene where the elite trainer attempts to flee without you, the confrontation between them and YT will play out differently. if the elite trainer KNOWS thats YT, he’ll be composed if nervous, he’ll be begging for chances, he’ll be rationalising why he fled. if the elite trainer doesnt know its YT, that revelation will shake the fuck out of him, he’ll be a quivering wreck, overcome with the emotion of the fact that YT didnt die, but survived and wants to squarely kick him in the gut off the side of a skyscraper. or something. elito knowing YT is YT will be diplomatic. elito not knowing YT is YT will be emotional. i mean both would be but still. and itd slightly alter YT’s dialogue, they’d be angry at you if you didnt tell elito, but they’ll also be sadistically pleased that they get to see how elito feels. if you did tell elito, yt is actually more emotional, because elito prepared slightly for this confrontation and yt was caught off guard.

itd make slightly less changes later. like, end game. itd have some tiny dialogue changes before that. but like, after the villain story is wrapped. lets say that once you beat the villain and leave and go celebrate, YT comes and just socks elito square in the jaw. just because theyve wanted to for years. they make a speech about how his cowardice caused people to suffer. itd be pretty bitterly emotional for YT. but how THAT ends depends on the choice. like. if you told elito, YT would actually then offer elito their hand and help him back up off the ground, they’d make a sort of apology thats a bit stumbling and weak and full of digs, but itd be clear theyve thought about what elito said in this grunt gang bang and they want to put this behind them. if you DIDNT tell elito, YT will end his speech by spitting at elito and leaving. YT would show up later, possibly as part of post-game content, or maybe they fuck off into the ether like N does, idk.

it might also change elitos outcome. if they reconnect with YT and start making amends, theyd end up in a different place post game, maybe at YTs old home, talking to their parents, and theyd commit themselves further to not doing this again. if they dont connect with YT, theyd remain in their e4 villa or whatever, cowardly again, hiding from the outside.

the idea is that if YT reconnects, it affirms to the elite trainer that theyve at least slightly changed for the better, and that they can continue to improve. if they dont reconnect, they simply fall further into that anguish. fall of the wagon, as it were. the end of that story would be them resigning their elite post and simply fading from the news.

or SOMETHING like that. there could be more variables. the idea is that you can help YT and elito at least talk out their problems and help them reconcile what happened, help elito apologise for his awful behaviour and help YT sort of atone for the bad shit they did in seeking that apology (since, yknow, they sided with the villains and did some villainous shit while also pursuing that revenge). like you can basically mediate and help them at least start a dialogue. whether itd end well or even amicably between them would be debatable. but itd be better than the two of them never really getting that chance to talk it out, to just say what they thought and have it bubble inside them for years? yknow. hence why the non-reconnect ending is all bitter. it leaves elito a cowardly wreck. it leaves yt as someone who doesnt feel satisfied with their revenge and thus continues to exercise that aggression through villainy. its Bad End, buddy.

i mean itd be stupid if bad end was tied just to that one dialogue choice so it possible be possible to mention it at other points, like when elito is just standing around and doesnt have hyper fixed dialogue, you can approach them and youd get some minor options about stuff to say. dialogue choices, mother fuckers. like you approach him and you can ask how his day is, giving you basically a semi relevant thing about how he feels at that moment. and then youd have like, an advice one, like ‘got any advice’ and hed tell you something semi relevant. and then thered be the 3rd, unique option - ‘ive got something to tell you’ and that gives you the chance to tell him about YT if you picked the other option at the original dialogue. and maybe, just in general, that third option after you tell elito about YT would let you ask about YT and get a general backstory on the kid, expanded from what elito tells you in ‘vanilla’.

tl;dr i love this idea i love this shit godddddddddddddddd